Alone

This feeling tonight is so familiar. The feeling brought me back to 2.5 years ago. Loneliness. I was so trapped within. My past was so destructive. It created sense of huge insecurity. Betrayal. I remember the pain caused by it. Up to now, I was struggling to trust. I am so fragile, inside. And yet, no one realised how depth it is. 

I feel I am not worth enough to keep. Dear god, I don't wanna have this feeling anymore. I'm hurt. I did move on. But why the scar reminds. No. There is no room for past love anymore. What I have now is feeling disgusting to that creature. 

I feel lonely. No one here to stay. No one here to call. Just to say that I'm the priority. Not the second things to do. I'd rather be quite. Keep it to my self. I live for me. I belong to me. My heart is my only possession 

Feelin little low

Have you ever felt being underestimated? Have you ever received constant criticisms? And people keep telling me I can't do this, I can't do that. It doesn't really affect me. Initially. But it keeps mounting..and adding to the point where I doubt my self. 

This is the hardest battle. That I am struggling to convince myself that I'm good enough. Pardon my French, those people are being pain in my ass. I don't know what is wrong with them. Never ending judging me, well yeah...as if they were perfect. *perfect-my-ass*. 

If they do good on doing  their job, I would have opened for construction criticism. But that's not the case. They are not so great doing their job, and they judging every step that I take. I mean, mind your own business. I have never involved and being so opinionated on what they do. 

" you won't succeed. What u do won't work out". Those words that came out from  their mouth playing over and over again in my mind like a broken record.

I am not feeling rise n grind now ....