Thursday, July 24, 2008

All of You and I are the rainbow

Many people walked in and out of my life, but you girls left footprints in my heart. Life handed me the bad and good things, one of the greatest gifts I received was the love from all of you. "Thank you" were always meant to say, but it never feels enough. I am the person who can't get along easily with someone, yet somehow you could find the best of me.

It started with just couple of us. Then I was close with one of you, then you brought them, other friends. Finally, there we were - five of us. The bond was born.

I must say that I am so blessed. You make my time here so much worthy. God had been so good to me by bringing all of you into my life. I know, there has been so many ups and downs, yet we manage to give each of our shoulder's to cry on, to give our hands to reach out, to lend our ears to hear. I would never found any friendship like this for the rest of my life. We do not hide from who we are. Either being an evil nor an angel, we are honest about ourself.

The most beautiful thing in this friendship is, we still love each other even with our imperfectness. Sometimes, it is easier to love someone because their perfectness rather than their imperfectness. I had someone telling me, "A friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg even though you're slightly cracked".

Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo,Violet are the colors of the rainbow. Each of them has unique stand out shinning color. It truly reflects the differences on us.We are just bunch of girls having different personalities, different religion, and different race. But then, we are beautifully melting, so sometimes I don't feel that the differences still exist. Just like a rainbow. You see the differences are still there, but somehow when others people look at it, they will think that the friendship we have treasured are beautiful to see. Just like people feel the beauty of the rainbow when they see it.

Do you know why I keep you inside my circle of life? Why I feel so much warmth and comfort around you? because somehow, you make me as a better person in so many ways. Not living in Melbourne means I will not be saying goodbye to you all because this is not the end of our friendship. Our story has just got started. In future, let this our story pass onto our children - just let them know something that we are already proud of. Actually, I have lots of many things to say, but I can't describe it into good words. I just wanna let you know, I love you more than even words I say. Although, we are kept at distance - there is not single thing that gonna change what we have. You know why? Cos I keep all of you at the bottom of my heart, it's not gonna easily tear it off.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Damn! why I never sense the vibe

Im Yours - Jason Mraz

Couple of days ago, I had afternoon coffee with Gerald and Nanthinee - my closest friends on campus. We sat down and had chat for almost three hours. Mainly, we talked about relationships. Out of nowhere, I told them that K called me last week and talked to me almost an hour. K is our friend on campus but we are not really close to him. He asked me to have lunch with him, as a return because I helped him throughout the semester. Without hesitation, I agreed to it and said to him and I would bring Gerald and Nanthinee to join with us.

I had not thought it would matter that much until Gerald brought this issue to the surface.
"Why don't u just reject the offer, and saying that he does not owe you anything", said Gerald
"Why would I do that? I'm just being friendly", I response
"Yeah well, I'm afraid he misunderstood you. Cmon, he talked to you almost an hour. Don't you think it's weird", said Gerald
"Don't be to alarmed. He knows I'm in relationship. So I guess, that misunderstanding you're talking about is not true", I argued
"What kind of conversation, you actually had with him over the phone?", he asked
"Just simple conversation like you guys and I always have", I answered
"Did you talk alot about your boyfriend?", he interrogate me
"No.. cos he did not ask"
"That's the point! you don't have picture of your bf and u on facebook, you dont talk alot about your bf. He might think that you lied that you're in relationship or he suspect that you are not serious." He explains....
"Oh my God, I'm just being friendly. That's it! Like I'm being friendly to you guys"
"I know you're friendly, but do not be too friendly. It's not good Mirna. We are closer to you and we know you, that's why we never misunderstood you. but he is not close to you so, perhaps there's slightly chance that he get your response the wrong way", said Gerald

Nanthinee added, "Yeah I guess, you need to step back little bit. Hey you know, I helped him too but he does not ask me!!"
Gerald, "See! that's what I'm talking about. Just limit your phone conversation next time he calls you. Well hopefully, I'm wrong. But I suspect he might have feeling for you or even worse, he just want to get you in bed!"
"Hey! don't scare me by saying that", I said
"I dont scare you, just alarm you. Hey, remember when you had the psycho guy chasing after you, you couldn't stop him until you stop being friendly to him", Gerald said.

Why I would never be able to sense the vibe when guys has crush on me. It happen quite often since junior high. I never realized it until my friends told me that. My friends were the ones who can feel the vibe if there was guy liking me. Because of "this lack of talent", I had been snapped with one of my friends in high school. He said to me in front of my class mates, "Hey Mirna, I like you alot" and I was laughing and laughing....while everyone was quite and staring at me furiously. I said to him, "Well thanks, that's quite funny". "Hey, be serious!! Don't take this as a joke cos I'm deadly serious saying this to you!" he angered. I was stoned for a while. I thought he was joking cos most of time, he always made a joke and I did not feel that he liked me.

Before I was in relationship with my bf, I did not sense the vibe too!! until my bestfriend, Rina told me.
She asked me on the day after I had him coming over to my house, "So how was it?".
"It was nice and we talked alot, he went home quite late at 11", I answered
"huh? what time he came to your house?", she asked
"Around 7, I guess. Why?"
"I think he likes you, he enjoys talking to you" she said
"Oh no no no.....he did that because I'm his bestfriend's sister"
"Ah..don't be stupid! you will soon find out that he likes you. Trust me", She replied

She was right.
Gee,are Gerald and Nathinee right that I need to get more lessons on "how to sense the vibe"?

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Fool in love or Fall in Love?

moving mountains - usher

I guess no one would never understand it. We say it almost quite often, yet it is still undefined. It makes a mess with our life and complicates everything.

Is it true that this heart has its own mind? if so, is this a reason why someone doesn't think logically ? Perhaps, before love knocking on our doors, we know what it's right and wrong. Suddenly when it comes and visits us, we really can't see the fine line between right and wrong. Even thou, we know what's right and wrong, sometimes we refuse to do something if our hearts do not go with it.

Recently, one of my friends has an affair with a married guy. Even worse, she slept with him - more than once. So I guess, most of us will say that what she did was wrong. She knows that it was something wrong to do, but her feeling won't let her get out from this situation since she likes this guy so much. Is this fool in love? or fall in love?

I don't blame her for the feeling she has to the married guy, cos everyone has right to fall in love with every kind of human. But, I blame her for her inappropriate and intolerable behavior - she's too way out of the line.

Few years back, I had feeling to one guy for seven years. Most of the time in our relationship, he ignored me, as I was nothing to him. But still I was so foolishly fall in love him, and believing that he would change someday. That day would never happened. All my friends told me that I was such a fool. That time, I knew I was fool but still can't get away from him. My heart ruled everything.

So is it right? we become foolish person when we fall in love? Love makes us strong, yet others love could weakens us. So, Are we in the fool or love path?